A War Has Started

April 21, 2012

Trying to limit myself to only 2 meals a day. This week is a lot easier than last week. I stepped on the scale and my weight is still the same as it was three weeks ago. I imagine it’s probably water weight. I’ve been drinking a lot of water lately before and after my workouts. It calms down cravings and such. 

Still only eating one can of tuna, a can of green beans, and 5 wheat crackers for meals twice a day. Not sick of it yet, but we’ll have to see. For breakfast I have a slice of sweet bread. Just for that little metabolism boost in the morning or whatever. 

I just hate thinking about food. I hate feeling hungry because then I get anxiety over what I’m going to eat. It’s so much easier to stick to the same thing every day. Sometimes I can’t even finish the entire can of green beans. I do it anyway though. 

April 11, 2012

I don’t know what it is lately…whenever I get hungry, there isn’t really any foods that appeal to me. I find this weird, since I have always been the kind of person who is just in LOVE with food. I’m not even a picky eater, like I’ll eat anything that is in front of me (except potatoes…man, fuck potatoes). But lately just nothing sounds good when I’m hungry. 

Of course I eventually eat something, but noting satisfies me. I’ll be in the middle of eating a taco or a sandwich and I won’t even want to finish it. Nothing tastes good anymore.

I told my therapist about the awkwardness between food and I lately, and she thinks it has something to do with stressing about my future and such. Apparently this kind of behavior isn’t uncommon with children in similar situations as mine. Once everything is figured out, my eating habits will return to normal. 

I mean, I’m saving a lot of money but at the same time I feel fatigued more often than I used to. I keep wanting to take naps every day, no matter how much sleep I got the night before. Idk. We’ll just have to see. I need to chill.